Four and One

I have finished and published Colossal Ways You Were Right. The form of the book is as I planned. Forty pages, forty poems, 20 being box/blocks, alternating with 20 four-line strophe blocks. This is my 20th published book.

I realized afterwards that this book is the last installment of a year-long project including publication of four books, the others being (dot), First Days Last, and Farms Go Faster. All these can be previewed and purchased at my author's page at lulu.com. I can't remember feeling so done with a project, so utterly complete.

This group of four books interests me also as clearly they took form to a purpose, and their publication (in one calendar year) could only happen for me through a POD type publication platform, such as lulu.com. I think again about what that means, being self-published, further convinced that I am being myself, being self-published.

And so I wonder at all the words written on behalf of thoughts that language is not the author's. Then whose is the book? What is the self that employs language assembled in the form of a book that we call published; who is the I who publishes, and what is mine that I call it mine? What is the "self" in "self-published" but an ulterior designation, a socialization of the will, a kind of forensic exhibit of motive and opportunity, an expression flung at the hunter's feet; an incrimination dripping from the self-knowing facade we call our other self.

I am quite certain that I publish these books, but I am uncertain who does not publish their books. In other words, I publish my own books, and as with this last project, I now see that I write in part understanding the dynamics of the purpose of being able to publish what I write. Otherwise things would stagnate. As it is I can switch gears, modes, at will or by design. No doubt I could never work any other way. I feel like my entire life is involved in this form of account.

That's enough of that for now. When I do get to writing again I expect it will be a longer project taking upwards of a year and encompassing 100 pages of material. That's the general notion as of now.